The Yue Sao (Cont)

So, about thirty minutes into the visit of our perspective  visit Shanshan’s mom arrived. Now, something to note here is that I call Shanshan’s mom, well, mom. The transition from formal to informal happened during the wedding ceremony, when I served tea to the senior members of the family. With Shanshan holding the saucer, I worked my way around the table, saying to each something “Ma, please drink tea” (妈,请喝茶), they would sip the tea, and from then on, they would be my mother, father, grandmothers, uncles, aunts, etc. Likewise, Shanshan now refers to my mom as mom. (From what I understand, referring to member’s of the spouse’s family as “in-laws” is impolite.)

Anyway, mom joined Shanshan and the Yue Sao in the baby’s room to continue the inspection. After a bit, they retired to the sofa in the living room couch, where the Yue Sao once again invited me to sit in my chair. Which, again, I did… and, just as promptly as before.

Everyone got along swimmingly, and the Yue Sao agreed that she would work with us. She agreed to work for her normal price, and forgo the 500 RMB bonus. In addition, she would stay with us for three months instead of just the one.

btw, before the visit, there’d been some discussions about how our sleeping arrangements would change after the birth of our child. At first, it was suggested that mom would sleep with her in the main bed, the Yue Sao would sleep in the baby’s room with the baby, and I’d sleep on the couch. Then, it was suggested that the Yue Sao and Shanshan would share the main bed, with the baby in the master room, mom would sleep in the baby’s room, and I’d still get the couch.

What was finally decided is that Shanshan and I would sleep in the main bed, the Yue Sao would sleep in the baby’s room with the baby, and, when mom would stay over, she’d sleep on the couch. This way, the Yue Sao could attend to the baby at times where Shanshan didn’t need to be woken.


  1. as one of the “moms”, i definitely vote for the last solution you describe…sounds just right.

    i also like the wonderful sense of comraderie in the photo. the ease of the women with one another.

  2. Thanks. I’d been considering setting-up a cot in my office, but I’d definitely like to share a bed with my wife. 🙂

  3. I am glad it worked out that way–with all those mommas taking care of the new baby, you are at risk of losing a place to sleep altogether!!

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